I never learned about perimenopause. I knew that women experienced symptoms when they went through menopause, which I thought of us as being a time in your 50s when you stopped having periods. After a few years of learning about the topic, now I won’t shut up about it. I want all women in their 40s to hear about it, so they don’t have to go through the years of running down weird and random symptoms like I did.

First of all, I can’t recommend enough the book “The Menopause Manifesto” by Dr. Jen Gunter. It’s where I learned a lot of this stuff. I also like “Hot and Bothered” by Jancee Dunn.

Anyway, when I was about 44-45, I started experiencing a variety of symptoms. Most alarming were my periods getting heavier, longer, and closer together (at one point lasting about 10 days and occurring every 3 weeks!). I also started having random abdominal pain, and I was gaining weight in an uncontrollable way – I have “fat genes” and have worked hard to manage my weight my whole life, and I knew exactly what I needed to eat and do to keep my weight stable, but none of that was working. Even when I was practically starving myself, the numbers on the scale kept going up. My hair was thinning a bit. I felt tired a lot more, and my brain felt like it wasn’t working as well as it used to. The most frustrating symptom to deal with was recurrent UTIs, and bladder pain even when tests indicated no infection.

These symptoms started coming on sometime around the beginning of the COVID lockdown, after which I had to cancel my large, indoor, 150-person August 2020 wedding and started a new job. Then I planned an entirely different, outdoor, COVID-safe wedding for 30 people in May 2021. So to some degree, I chalked it up to COVID and a lot of life changes. But the period wonkiness and abdominal pain were impossible to just write off, and the constant UTIs were really impacting my life. Kaiser sent me to a variety of different specialists, and I had a barrage of tests, ultrasounds, and even physical therapy for a potentially hypertonic (too tight) pelvic floor. I had a Mysore procedure to scrape out overgrown tissue and potential polyps from my uterus. But nothing turned up a definitive answer. I went on medication for the bladder pain, which was presumed to be Interstitial Cystitis.

Finally, my constant internet research led me to learn about perimenopause. I read “The Menopause Manifesto” and learned that frequent UTIs and wonky periods could be symptoms. I mentioned it to my urogynecologist, who said, “But you’re still having periods”…. and that’s when I realized a lot of DOCTORS don’t even know much about perimenopause.

Finally, I switched to an OB-GYN who had a clue. She put me on birth control pills as a “beginner” form of Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT). I didn’t really think it would work. But magically, ALL the symptoms suddenly went away! I was floored.

Eventually, last year, the birth control pills stopped working as well, and the symptoms started to come back, along with hot flashes and worse brain fog. My doctor switched me to “real” HRT – estradiol patches and 200mg progesterone for 12 days a month. She said eventually my periods will stop, and then I’ll start taking the progesterone every day. So far, it’s been amazing. I have more energy, I feel great, and my weight is coming back down. My periods are normal, even though I’ve stopped the birth control pills.

I’m writing all this so that if you, dear reader, are in your 40s and experiencing weird symptoms, please do pick up “The Menopause Manifesto” and see if some of your symptoms match what’s described. Women are often gaslit and told it’s all in their minds or just “stress,” as I was. Most infuriatingly, MULTIPLE doctors suggested I “try yoga” or some kind of light exercise, despite my records saying I was a lifelong distance runner who also lifted weights (and yes, did yoga), and that I did a hard workout every single day. It was patronizing and made me feel crazy.

Related to being athletic, I also recently started listening to the “Hit Play not Pause” podcast, which is geared towards athletes going through perimenopause and menopause, and it’s great, I can’t recommend it enough.

Anyway, I hope this post is of service to someone. I also want to mention that I got my personal record half-marathon time last November, at age 49! Don’t believe that these changes have to sideline your athletic goals and your life. Keep being a “problem patient” and push your doctors to come up with a real answer. Don’t let them gaslight you! And if you’re a lawyer, I can vouch for the fact that repeatedly telling your HMO that you “want to get the denial in writing, please, as I’m a lawyer and need it for my records in case I need to file a malpractice claim” is a very helpful way to get Kaiser to pay attention to your needs!