Random Personal Posts by Gaelen Gates

This show is such a gem, and I want it to get the attention it deserves! It’s written by Lena Dunham and her husband as a semi-autobiographical story about their relationship. It stars Meg Stalter from “Hacks,” who is hilarious, although it’s not a straight-up comedy – there are plenty of dramatic and poignant scenes. It made me cry multiple times.

I feel like the show got some negative reviews from people who don’t like Lena Dunham and used the opportunity to work out their own issues about her, or people who were expecting it to be more of a comedy, but I think this New Yorker review was pretty accurate.

Part of why I loved it is that it’s ultimately a show that very effectively communicates how we all have a lot of baggage from our childhoods, past relationships, etc., and often what we think of as those special “you know it when you meet THE ONE” romantic feelings are the result of being drawn to partners who help us heal that damage, even if we’re not necessarily conscious of it.

I also like the way it portrayed flawed characters who are capable of change – both Jessica and Felix are very flawed, as are most of the people in their orbits – but the show doesn’t condescend to any of them, and doesn’t “punish” them for their issues. Instead, it portrays them all as deserving of love and friendship (honestly, even Zev). The show also illustrates the way that people we think of as “villains” in our own personal stories may have a very different perspective. I thought the Wendy character arc was particularly satisfying and surprising.

Finally, it was wonderful to watch a female character who is not a size 2, but has a positive self-image and is not insecure about her weight. She’s also ambitious and very good at her job, which again, is unusual for shows with young women at the center.

The writing is excellent, and it’s definitely not a “two screen” show – there is a lot of subtlety in the dialogue and reactions that is easy to miss. I watched it through twice, because so much of it is told in flashbacks, and I picked up a lot of nuances the second time around, after I knew what was going to happen.

As a bonus, the soundtrack is incredible, and there are a ton of charming cameos. Richard E. Grant as Jessica’s boss was my personal favorite, as was Andrew Scott (from “Ripley”) as the narcissistic director. It’s just a wonderful show. It’s 10 episodes, ranging from 30 to 50-ish minutes, so not a huge time commitment. Just watch it and then we can talk about it!

• Avocado
• Peas (fresh)
• Beets (fresh, roasted)
• Asparagus
• Celery root
• Tomatoes
• Corn
• Sweet potatoes
• Red/yellow/orange bell peppers
• Lion’s Mane mushrooms
• Butter lettuce
• Green onions
• Garlic
• Leeks
• Shallots
• Artichokes
• Carrots
• Oyster mushrooms
• Kale
• Celery
• Cabbage
• Brussels sprouts (roasted)
• Onions
• Potatoes
• Turnips/parsnips (roasted)
• Green bell peppers
• Arugula
• Portobello mushrooms
• Cauliflower
• Green beans
• Button mushrooms
• Bok choy
• Radicchio
• Okra
• Broccoli
• Bean sprouts
• Fennel
• Butternut squash
• Chard
• Frisée
• Alfalfa sprouts
• Jicama
• Radishes
• Iceberg lettuce
• Zucchini

It came to my attention recently that some people still use Facebook. I was a very early adopter of Facebook (as I am for most things), but stopped using it years ago. I have a fake profile I set up when we adopted our greyhound puppy, because that was the only place the rescue group was posting photos, but no one can find me or friend me and I don’t use it to post anything, just to keep up with that group and foster homes that may be needed.

My decision to stop using Facebook wasn’t just because it was destroying America and helped get Tr*mp elected, but because I had accumulated so many “friends” over a very turbulent time in my life, and it felt weird to “unfriend” them, but it also felt overwhelming to see so many updates on the lives of people I had no actual connection with anymore. In a weird way, it made me both (1) guilty for not keeping in touch with them, and (2) anxious that if I ran into them on the street I’d forget I’d seen an update that they had a baby or started a new company or whatever, and I’d reveal that I don’t actually care about what’s happening in their lives anymore.

I generally like social media as a way to keep in touch with friends and family I don’t see often. I did Friendster, and MySpace, and some of the others I’ve forgotten (Orkut? Was that a thing?). But none of them held up over the long term.

I stopped using Twitter when Elon bought it, and I like Bluesky and Mastodon, but I mostly use those to follow strangers and post my own dumb thoughts for strangers. It doesn’t feel “social” because it isn’t people I actually socialize with. I tried out Threads, but it felt extremely Facebook-coded, and I soon lost interest.

I actually like TikTok (it’s GREAT at showing me wildlife rescue and dog training videos I’m going to like), but I don’t really want to watch videos, generally, and I rarely use it.

I started using Tumblr because, in 2009, pre-iPhone, it was the one service that let me easily post to my photoblog by emailing photos to a specific address from my Palm Treo 650. I still use it for that purpose (but now I use the app!), but I don’t follow other people on Tumblr, or use the app for anything except posting photos. So I don’t really consider it a “social media platform,” since that’s not how I use it.

For me, the last “real” social media platform standing is Instagram. I started using it very early – this is my first post, from October 2010, and this is the first picture I posted of my now-husband, in February 2012. It’s the one thing I still use, and the only social media platform I’ve used for 15 years! I like it for sharing photos with my friends and family (it’s really the only site they still post photos on), but I also follow some wildlife rescues, other greyhound and whippet accounts, accounts for organizations like the SFMOMA and the parks department, and interesting celebrities like AOC and Miranda July. If you switch to the “Following” feed by tapping on the Instagram logo in the top left, you don’t get all the nonsense from accounts you don’t even follow. I consider it the only “real” social media platform (at least, for me) because it’s the only place I follow friends and family, comment on their posts, and share photos intended for them (rather than for strangers, which is the case with my photoblogs).

Why do I like Instagram? I guess because I’ve always taken a lot of photos (since high school, way before digital!), it’s my way of interpreting the world. I’ve heard people say they’ve stopped using Instagram because they didn’t want to take themselves out of the moment by documenting it… but I’ve always documented everything with photos. It doesn’t take me out of the moment, and it’s actually part of my enjoyment of the moment (I mostly take quick candids, I don’t spend time staging or framing anything too elaborately). I like taking pictures, and I like seeing pictures from other people.

Ryan on Garbage Day summed it up pretty well in this post. I don’t use Reels or know how to specifically look for Reels on Instagram, but the rest really rang true. I’m genuinely surprised that Instagram has been the one that has stuck around for me, but I still hope we’ll eventually get something better.